Keep Out of Reach From Adults

I bought a can of neon-green spray paint from Home Depot today. No, I'm not a graffiti artist, though if you wish to suspect me as the masked avenger of street art, Banksy, I would only be greatly flattered, as I do admire his art. In fact, this was the first time I had ever purchased such an item, yet I was surprised when the lady at the check-out asked for my identification. I did have it, but found myself inquisitive of why it was necessary. She explained that it was because a growing portion of teenagers have been inhaling the chemicals within the can, finding an alternate and legal avenue to intoxication. This does not appeal to me personally, because my dreams are screwed up enough already. But if artificial substances and incense worked for Edgar Alan Poe, I pass no judgement on to people attempting chemically grown artistic inspiration. The employee also told me that they did not check ID for all brands of paint, just the ones that contained the specific chemicals. To me, that system seemed to only inform the customers of which paints were the most "effective". Now, I don't know the common procedure used for extracting and inserting these chemicals out of the can and into one's system, but I imagine it's either messy, or tastes horrible. My advise is to listen to Radiohead, or watch Labyrinth with David Bowie. It's pretty much the same effect.